Make It Without You
by Carrie Underwood Fan
Summary: How would they move on from this? Would working in the hospital ever be the same again? Would they ever be the same? Mark/Lexie Post Season 6 Finale. Finished!
1. Chapter 1

_**So raise your hand if you think I've been making too many one shots lately? Well too bad because I needed to write this after watching the AMAZING finale. Seriously in my opinion that had to be the best Grey's episode ever. And best finale I've ever seen. But that's just my humble opinion ;) Okay is going to be a little three-shot of Mark and Lexie that deals with the aftermath of the finale. Also if you're Merder lover (why wouldn't you be?) stay tuned for a one-shot/possible ongoing story about them after the season finale! Enjoy =)**_

Mark was walking towards the east wing of the hospital, when his pager went off for the third time. It was Meredith again. He was being paged to the supply closet yet once again. Why he was being paged to the supply closet? He had no freaking clue.

It had been almost a week since the shooting at the hospital. Things were finally starting to get back to normal around here, normal as normal goes after a mass shooting spree. Derek was discharged yesterday and would recover at home for a few weeks before returning to work, but he would return as an attending. Richard had been re-instated as the Chief. Everyone was trying to move on from the aftermath of the shooting, but it's something that has forever changed each and every one of their lives.

"Why was I paged here?" questioned Mark as he walked up to see Meredith standing outside the door.

"Because Lexie is in there and is refusing to come out. She's been in there for almost two hours." said Meredith. "And I tried to deal with her but I can't deal with her, Derek and Alex while still practicing medicine."

"So call Alex and give her the phone. Problem solved." said Mark, as he turned to walk away.

"They broke up." said Meredith, knowing that would grab his attention. Mark stopped and met Meredith's gaze. "I don't know if it even counts as a break up because they weren't really… I don't know… I don't know what they were." rambled Meredith. "But between that and the panic attack she's currently having, she's not doing so good."

Mark sighed, as he ran his fingers through his hair. Yes he'd wanted them to break up or "whatever" as Meredith had put it, but this wasn't how he'd wanted this to go. He knew emotionally this was hurting Lexie. Even if she didn't really love him, for a few months Alex was all she had while he was off acting like a moron.

"Alright." nodded Mark. "I'll talk to her; I'll see what I can do."

Meredith flashed him a smile and nodded in approval as she walked off in the opposite direction. Mark walked up metal door and knocked loudly. He waited for some sort of response, but when he didn't get one he called out,

"Lexie. It's Mark. Open up the door."

Again, he waited for a response only to be met with silence. He sighed in frustration. She was clearly not going to give up.

"Lexie I swear I'll go get a screw driver and un-bolt the door if you don't open. Either come out or let me in." said Mark.

He heard the lock on the door click. He smiled slightly knowing she'd known he was serious when he said that. He opened the door to find her sitting in the corner, with her legs hugged to her knees, while she wiped tears off of her face.

"Hey." said Mark as he walked further into the closet and closed the door behind him. Lexie's big brown teary eyes looked up to meet his, the only acknowledgment she could form right now. He sat down on the floor across from her, as her shaking hands gripped her scrub pants tightly.

He could tell that she was scared. Scared to go back to work and try to go back to normalcy in a place that was no longer normal to the people who had lived through it. He could also tell her heart was hurting. No matter if she didn't love Alex like she had said, she was still hurting.

"So first day back?" questioned Mark, even though he knew it was. The hospital had been closed for three days, in order for police to investigate further and to give people time to recover emotionally from the event, and he knew Lexie had taken off two days because he hadn't seen her since.

Lexie nodded in response as she sucked in a breath, as tears rolled down her face. She knew it was pathetic to sit in a closet and hide. But she couldn't go out there. Not after how she had almost gotten killed in a hallway less than few feet away. She knew he was dead, she knew he could no longer hurt her. But the memory of it was something that would haunt her forever.

"I have a reconstructive surgery on a burn patient at twelve. You can scrub in. I'll even let you repair some of the tissue." said Mark.

Lexie shook her head in response, indicating she didn't want too. She squeezed her fists tightly together. Mark sighed as he stood up; he offered her his hand to help pull her up on to her feet.

"Come on Lexie."

"I'm not going." said Lexie in a quivering voice, the first words she had spoken since she had locked herself in the closet two hours earlier. "I'm not going out there." she said again.

"Lex." sighed Mark in frustration. "Come on. I know you're scared but…" started Mark.

"He pointed a gun to me Mark!" shouted Lexie. Mark stood there staring at her in near shock, clearly not having previously known this news. "So excuse me if I don't want to go stand in the hallways and reminisce that.

Mark opened his mouth to speak, but felt it dry and empty. He had been able to protect her the first time. Throw her on the ground and have his life taken before hers. But he hadn't been there this time.

"When?" he managed to croak out.

"When I went to the blood bank for Alex." said Lexie as her voice shook at the thought. "I was a few feet away and then he was just... I didn't…." said Lexie as her sobs started again.

Mark sighed as he fully understood now. He dropped back down to the floor and pulled Lexie into his arms. Their legs tangled as she quickly wrapped herself in his warm embrace, gripping his scrubs in security. He soothingly raked his fingers through her hair, as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, to prevent the tears he felt forming. He had almost lost her. Someone would have taken her away from him. And right now all he wanted to do was hold her tightly and never let go.

"Shh. Its okay, I'm right here. We won't go anywhere. We'll just sit here."

* * *

Mark listened as his pager went off loudly again for the third time in the last thirty minutes. He and Lexie had barely moved from their positions on the ground, except since she had calmed down slightly she no longer had a death grip on him, she was just sitting next to him. He quickly checked his pager before offering Lexie a half smile as they continued to sit in silence.

"That's the third time it's gone off." commented Lexie softly.

Mark nodded at her remark. He knew he had to go, because he had been page 911 twice and now he was just being paged for consolation, meaning the patient had pretty much been evaluated and he just needed to check in with them quickly.

"Yeah. I need to go do a quick consult." said Mark as he stood up.

"Okay. I'll be here." said Lexie with a small smile.

Mark disregarded her comment and held out his hand. She had to do this sooner or later so it might as well be now. He watched as her eyes widened in fear again.

"Mark." said Lexie. "No. I can't." said Lexie nervously.

"Come on. You can come with me to the consult and then I'll walk you to your car." said Mark as he pulled her to a standing position.

"No. I….I'm not ready." said Lexie. "And besides I didn't take a car, I walked." said Lexie.

Mark raised an eyebrow at her. He practically had her schedule memorized and knew that she had rounds this morning at six o'clock, making it that she probably had to leave Meredith's at five o'clock in order to get here on time. As much as Lexie wanted to pretend that she was a morning person, Mark knew better. You basically had to force the girl out of bed if it was before six o'clock. There was no way she was up and raring to go that early.

"You walked at five o'clock in the morning?" questioned Mark. "You?" asked Mark suspiciously.

Lexie's face immediately fell. He really knew her too well. "Yeah… I just… was up early." lied Lexie, knowing it wasn't even worth it anymore.

"Lexie." said Mark softly as he gently tucked a flyaway piece of hair tenderly behind her ear. It was still weird to see her as blonde. _His_ Lexie was a brunette and always would be.

Lexie inhaled sharply as he touched her. She closed her eyes willing herself not to cry anymore. She refused to let Mr. Clark scare her anymore. He wasn't alive, he couldn't hurt her. She felt tears well up faster in her eyes. The image of him pointing the gun at her, fresh in her head like it had happened moments ago. Alex lying on the conference room table, bleeding out, because of her. She let out a shuddering breath.

"I can't sleep anymore." admitted Lexie as a tear escaped her eye and she forcefully brushed it away. "I can't sleep because my mind races. I seem him. Standing there, staring me down. Then I think about how Alex is in the next room, Derek got shot, Meredith had miscarriage. I just… I… I can't sleep anymore." said Lexie as tears slipped down her cheeks.

Mark sighed as he reached out to touch her cheeks and gently brushed the tears away. Lexie turned her head the other way, clearly embarrassed that she was even admitting this. He felt stupid for not seeing it sooner. You could clearly see how emotionally and physically exhausted she was. She needed sleep.

"Come on." said Mark as he kept a grip on her shoulder and led her to the door. "You'll come with me and then I'll take you back and you can crash at the apartment.

"Wha… I … I can't." stuttered Lexie nervously, not knowing anymore if she was talking about walking down the hallway or going back home with him.

"You can. I promise I'll be right there the whole time." said Mark as he opened the door.

He heard Lexie let out a nervous breath as he opened the door wider. He felt her quickly grab his arm in fear, holding it tightly in reassurance. They quickly walked past the busy nurse's station, both not caring the looks that were being thrown at them and headed towards the west wing of the hospital. He felt her slow down slightly as they approached the tiny corridor.

He could have kicked himself for how close it was to the conference room where he had been at the time. He should have checked on her. He should have gone himself. He should have protected her. Both their bodies somehow kept in motion, even though their minds were consumed with dread and fear.

"You okay?" asked Mark as they finally left the hallway and started walking towards the elevator.

"I'm okay."

_**Reviews make my day =)**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I actually cannot get over the amount of reviews the first chapter of this got. I had no idea this would happen, I thought it was some dinky three shot I was writing to soothe my lack of Mark and Lexie in the finale lol! But I definitely appreciate it! Glad everyone is enjoying and thanks for the feedback ;) For anyone curious to when the next update will be after the chapter for my other story Tattered and Torn goes up. So as they say, on with the show….**_

She didn't remember going up the stairs to the patient's room, she barely reremembered standing there listening to Mark discuss something with the patient. To be honest she didn't even know how she got to here, changing into her clothes in the resident's lounge. Walking down that hall was like bad déjà vu that had put her in a complete fog.

She had just finished slipping on her top, when she heard a knock on the door, and looked up to see Mark standing there in his signature black jeans and a tee-shirt. He had retired the leather jacket for the season and switched to a lighter jacket for the impending spring weather.

"You ready to go?" asked Mark as he watched Lexie quickly shove some things in her purse. She nodded and walked over to where he was.

"I just need to go talk to the Chief." said Lexie as she went to leave the room.

"Already done." interrupted Mark. "You have off the rest of the day and tomorrow. I convinced him to let me have off too."

"You don't need to do that." said Lexie quickly. "I don't need someone to take care of me. I'm fine." she said as she shifted from one foot to another.

"I know you don't _need_ anyone. I want to. I want to make sure you're okay." admitted Mark.

Lexie smiled slightly at his admittance. Why did he have to be so perfect? Why did he have to be so put together while the rest of the hospital staff was still falling apart? More importantly, why couldn't she just admit she felt those same feeling he felt? That she wanted to tell him those same words, but a crazed gunman and a dying boyfriend had gotten in the way.

"Besides it is my apartment, I want to make sure you don't trash the place." said Mark with a teasing grin.

Lexie rolled her eyes slightly, as she slipped on the jacket that was in her hands. She felt her bag getting twisted with her hair and her coat and let out an annoyed sigh. Mark laughed slightly before reaching and gently un-tucking her hair from her jacket, as she shifted her bag back onto her shoulder.

"Ready ?" he asked.

Lexie nodded as he led her out of the room and towards the exit of the hospital. She loved being a doctor. She loved saving lives. But if she had to spend one more minute in here, she was going to have another anxiety attack.

She'd be able to do this soon. Be able to walk through the door with a real smile on her face. Make it through the entire day without having a break down in the supply closet. One day. Just not today.

* * *

Lexie stepped in through the threshold of the apartment door. It feels like yesterday she was lugging a suitcase, toothbrush and panties to this place to show how committed she was. Then secret pregnant daughters, sexcapadeswith ex-whatevers happened and now months later she was here again.

"It looks the same." commented Lexie as she looked around the kitchen and living room. Besides some of things she had added to the apartment, it really did look the same. It was neat, it was clean. Though it didn't look like a home.

"Were you expecting it to look different?" asked Mark as he tossed his keys on the counter. He then shrugged off his jacket and took hers ,throwing them over the chair.

"Kind of. Maybe. I don't know." admitted Lexie quickly.

Mark smirked at her rambling. It was something she and Meredith both did. Meredith did it practically all the time but Lexie only did when she got flustered, like right now. He could tell she was un-easy about this whole situation.

"Why don't you go to sleep." suggested Mark.

"I'm not tired." said Lexie.

"Lexie." argued Mark. She was exhausted and she was fighting it, he could tell. Her eyes were glassy and the circled under her eyes even darker than before. But she was still scared and he didn't want to push her.

"I swear I'll sleep. Just not right this second. I just… not right now." said Lexie as she crossed her arms in defiance, like a little kid resisting their own bedtime.

"Alright." sighed Mark. "But we have to compromise, go shower and change." said Mark.

"I don't have anything to change into." said Lexie. "I didn't know I was coming here until…" started Lexie, until Mark disappeared into the bedroom. "Mark?" called Lexie.

He returned moments later holding at tee-shirt of his in hand. He held it out to her. Lexie smiled slightly at his gesture before taking the shirt. She fingered the material slightly. Without even putting it close to her nose, she could smell his scent on it.

Mark turned and walked into small kitchen area and grabbed a handful of takeout menus. Lexie stood there for a second, before her eyes lit up slightly. She walked over to her tote bag and pulled out a plastic bag. Mark heard the rustling of the plastic and looked up, shooting her a quisitive look.

"What is that?" asked Mark curiously.

"Um… nothing. Just… nothing." said Lexie as she quickly placed it behind her back and started walking towards the bathroom. "I'm going to shower." said Lexie as she indicated to the door.

"You know you're a horrible liar, right? asked Mark with a smirk, as he watched her trying to reach for the door handle, as she pressed her back up against it.

"I know." said Lexie with a laugh as she quickly exited into the bathroom. Mark shook his head as he continued to flip through the menus.

He missed that laugh. That's what the apartment was missing. Lexie's presence. Her touch of femininity, spread delicately throughout the rooms. Her giggle. He didn't want to think about how this wasn't permanent, even though he wanted it to be. She would leave and go and live somewhere else. But he couldn't think about it right now. Because right now, in this very moment, she was home.

* * *

Lexie fingered her wet hair as she stared at it in the mirror. _Dark_. Her hair was dark again. She had to admit it did feel weird going back to her hair's natural color after being a blonde for so many months, but it felt good. She dropped the towel that she held around her body, and slipped Mark's tee-shirt over her head.

She was practically swimming in the shirt, but it felt warm and safe. It felt like Mark. She quickly hung the towel on the nearest rack and headed back out to the living room. She walked in to find Mark, completely engrossed in some medical journal.

"Unbelievable. This plastic surgeon gets written up because he did a face transplant at a hospital that has a "world renowned burn unit". I did it at a…" as he looked up to speak to Lexie and then stopped mid sentence.

He literally had to refrain his jaw from jumping. There she was, her body still glistening with water from the shower, her now dark hair, still damp tossed over to one side of her shoulder and wearing his shirt that came slightly past her thighs and was falling off one of her shoulders.

"What?" asked Lexie self consciously. "Does it look bad?" she asked with slight fear as her hands went to her head. "I probably should have gotten it done somewhere but I figured you know might as well make another change and I..." rambled Lexie.

"Lexie." interrupted Mark. "It looks good. It looks really good. I swear I didn't mean to stare… I just…" said Mark.

"_What the heck are you doing? You don't stutter in front of women? Where the hell is this coming from?" _shouted Mark on the inside as he tried to form words. _"Just tell her she looks pretty you moron!"_

"You look beautiful."

Lexie felt her face flush slightly at his words. He still had that effect on her, to make her go weak in the knees at any given moment. She then noticed the plastic containers sitting in front of him on the coffee table.

"The food came?" questioned Lexie as she walked over to the table and grabbed her purse, once again digging through it.

"Yeah just like ten minutes ago. Everything is still hot." said Mark as he reached forward and began opening everything.

Lexie nodded as she came back and sat down beside him on the couch. She then placed a twenty dollar bill on his knee. He glanced down feeling the movement, and immediately reacted by shoving it back in her direction.

"No way. Not happening." said Mark with a shake of his head.

"Mark come on." argued Lexie. "You're letting me stay here for the night, the least I could do is buy you dinner."

"Lexie you're being ridiculous." said Mark as he handed her a plate of spaghetti and salad.

"I'm being ridiculous? Why won't you just take it?" questioned Lexie defensively.

Mark sighed as he put his plate down and put his hand on her shoulder. He looked her squarely in the eyes. Her dark brown eyes meeting his musky blue ones.

"I'm not taking it because I want you here. I invited you here, therefore you're essentially a guest." said Mark. "Okay?"

Lexie sighed dramatically as she crossed her arms over her chest. She narrowed her eyes at him and pursed her lips together, clearly not liking the idea. She stayed like that for nearly five minutes, Mark waiting for some sort of agreement when she finally said,

"Fine. But you're picking the movie." said Lexie with a playful roll of her eyes. He chuckled slightly at her dramatic gesture as he handed her a glass of wine.

"Deal."

* * *

He could see her trying to keep her eyes open, forcing herself to stay awake. Her arm was resting on the couch, and she was leaning her head on her hand. They were currently on their second movie. Mark had chosen _Jaws_, much to Lexie's dismay and Lexie had randomly selected _Grease _onone of the movie networks.

"Lexie close your eyes." said Mark softly, as he watched her eyes quickly snap back open.

"I'm not tired." said Lexie through a stifled yawn. "Besides I want to see how the movie ends."

"Lex, everyone on the planet knows how this movie ends. You've seen it hundreds of times." said Mark.

"I know... I just…" said Lexie as she yawned. "Can't sleep."

Mark smiled sadly at her as he watched her try to refocus on the movie. She needed sleep, and she was fighting it because she was still scared. He took the remote and lowered the volume, so only a soft hum of noise was heard. He then reached out and pulled her body to a lying position.

"What're you doing?" questioned Lexie as she tried to sit up.

"Pass me that blanket." said Mark as he motioned for the blanket that was thrown half hazardly over the couch. Lexie gently reached out and tugged at it, pulling it into her lap.

Mark then reached and pulled her body back down, gently laying her head in his lap, he could feel Lexie trying to fight it slightly, but eventually she gave in and just laid there. He then took the blanket and tucked it carefully around her body. Once she was situated he sat back and watched as she slowly started falling asleep, still fighting to keep her eyes open.

"Just sleep Lex. Nothing is going to happen. Just close your eyes." assured Mark as he gently ran his finger in a calming motion over her back.

Lexie finally felt herself succumb to sleep. She was completely mentally and physically exhausted. But she knew she could go to sleep. Because she felt taken care of. She felt loved. She felt safe.

* * *

Lexie shot up in her sleep. She gripped the sheets, tightly as she tried to control her oncoming erratic breathing. _"It was just a dream. It was just a dream. He's dead. Its over." _she tried chanting to herself.

She barely even noticed the fact that she was now in a bed, Mark's bed to be specific, when she had fallen sleep on the couch. She could feel her lungs tightening, her body sensing her fear. She tried to inhale slowly through her lungs and it came out like a gasp.

She had been there in that hallway, right like she actually had, and once again a gun was being pointed at her. But this time she didn't have luck on her side, she remembered Mr. Clark screaming at her about how she was a murderer, she killed his wife. That she was going to pay. And then he had shot her, but she hadn't felt anything. She had just laid there. Laid there waiting for death to overcome.

She knew she was being ridiculous. She realized it had only been a dream. But it hadn't just been a dream. She had lived through it, and somehow made it out alive. But the memory would forever haunt her.

_I only came here intending to kill three people. Dr. Shepherd. Dr. Webber. And you._

"Mark!" she shouted, as best as she could as her hands went to her chest. She couldn't breathe. She was having a full blown out panic attack. She felt tears stinging at her eyes, as she tried forcing air into her lungs, only to have herself choke. She was alone. Again.

"Mark!" screamed, now completely hysterical. She was taking gasping breaths, mixed with massive sobbing, which was resulting in a bad combination of losing complete control of herself.

"Lexie?" called Mark's frantic voice, hearing her distress. She listened as she heard his fast footsteps, nearly running to the bedroom. The door quickly flew open as he quickly came in.

He didn't ask questions. He knew. He immediately sat down onto the bed pulling her into his arms. She had her legs firmly wrapped around his hips, while her hands clutched his shirt. He just held her, soothingtlycooing soft words and phrases into her ear. This wasn't his Lexie. This was a traumatized couldn't blame her though. He questioned if he had gone out instead of her to get the blood, would he be in this boat now? Panic attacks at random? Physical and mental exhaustion? Somehow in a twisted way he wish it had been him. Because then she wouldn't be suffering and his heart wouldn't be breaking having to watch.

"Mark... I…" sobbed Lexie, though coughs and sputters.

"Shh. Don't try to talk. Just breathe." said Mark as he stroked her hair. "Just breathe Lex." said Mark as he rubbed her back with his other free hand, encouraging her to take breaths.

"I… Don't leave me." said Lexie between breaths as she inhaled sharply the tears now flowing freely. "I love you. Please don't leave." begged Lexie as she clutched tighter, like she was afraid Mark would disappear into thin air.

She'd said it. But right now it didn't matter. He kissed her forehead as he laid her against his shoulder. He gently laid down, supporting both their weight. Their legs tangled together as hers unwrapped from his waist. She clutched to him tight, as her loud sobs slowly turned into quiet cries. He reciprocated by pulling her closer to where there was no separation between them.

"I'm not going anywhere." reassured Mark as he continued to stroke hair. "I promise you, I'm staying right here."

He knew she needed to hear it, even though he'd already confessed it to her before. She needed to hear it again. She needed it to heal. She needed the comfort and the true meaning behind the words.

"I love you too."

_**Reviews make my day =)**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_I __wasn't going to finish this, but then I heard about the spoilers with Lexie being committed to pysch, this story peaked my interest again. I do want to thank all of you for the sweet and positive feedback! So I hope there are some people still reading this and interested. And I know it was kind of cut off abrupt but I want to let your imaginations roll on what you think happens after. Happy reading =)_**

She couldn't sleep. Even though he was right beside her, his arms around her, she still didn't feel safe. And it had nothing to do with Mark. All she could think about was Gary Clark. How if she hadn't been on the case, would this be going on? If she hadn't been the one to take away Alison Clark's life, would she not feel as guilty?

This was her fault. All of it. She was the reason why the hospital would never be the same. She was the reason why Derek and Alex had been shot and how Reed, Percy and all the other innocent lives were taken.

She couldn't lie there anymore. She felt her heart beating in her chest. Gary Clark wasn't the murderer. She was. She could feel her stomach lurch at the thought. In reality none of this was his fault, it was hers. She pushed the back the covers as she felt dinner from early no longer wanting to stay put. She ran towards the bathroom and collapsed by the toilet just in time to get sick.

She couldn't blame her body for rejecting the food. She hadn't been eating too much lately. Or at all really. She grasped at the white porcelain as her heart as her chest continued to hurt, making it harder to breathe.

She looked at the sink counter above her. It still did look the same, the way it was organized in a messy way. A comb. Mark's toothbrush. His razor. Her eyes stopped at the metal object. She didn't believe in self inflicting pain. She was doctor. She helped the pain not caused it.

But she was the one who had caused others pain. She had caused pain for the families of those lives that were lost. She had caused pain for the doctors and nurses and patients. She had even caused her sister pain. Her own sister. One of the only real family members she had left.

She kneeled on her knees as she forced herself up slightly and reached for the sharp object. As she grabbed the handle and felt it in her grasp, she sat back down, leaning against the bathtub and pulling her knees to her chest.

She felt tears cloud her vision. In some sick twisted way, would this make her feel less guilty? Take the pain away? Would there be satisfaction? Would it stop her from the way she was feeling? Or would it really not help at all, like all the professionals said. Because to be honest, she really didn't think she could do it.

* * *

Mark blinked slowly as his eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room. He could have sworn he felt Lexie get up a few minutes ago. He also thought he had heard her getting sick in the bathroom. He glanced at the slightly cracked door, the fluorescent light peeking out, confirming his thoughts. He pushed back the covers and quickly walked into the bathroom. He expected to see Lexie either half asleep next to the toilet, or getting sick. What he didn't expect to see was Lexie holding a razor.

"Lexie!" he nearly screamed as he quickly ran towards her and snatched it from her hands. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I… I…. I… don't know." stuttered Lexie as she looked at his angry expression. He wore an expression similar to the one Mr. Clark had been wearing when he had been pointing the gun at her.

"You don't know?" he asked exasperatedly. "You don't know!" he shouted.

"I wasn't going to do it… I…. I…. please … please…. I…" said Lexie choking on her words as she crumbled to tears.

Mark sighed as he watched her fall apart. He knew he shouldn't have yelled, yelling wasn't generally a good idea when you're yelling is directed at someone who just attempted to kill themselves. But he had. How could he not yell? The person he loved, and didn't think he could survive without, had just tried to take her own life. Or so it had appeared that away.

He sat down next to her as she quickly scrambled into his arms, clutching him tightly. He pressed his lips to her forehead as her loud sobs echoed against the wall. For a long time, they barely even breathed, but when Lexie somewhat managed to calm down she asked,

"What's wrong with me?"

He hated to hear the desperation in her voice. He so badly wanted to give her an answer back. But truth be told, he didn't know what was wrong. And she needed help, she knew she needed help. And it would suck to admit to it, because once he took her to the hospital it would go downhill with pysch putting her on suicide watch and nurses gossiping. But it would be better than her suffering and him having to watch.

So he couldn't tell her what was wrong. Because for the first time in his life, Mark Sloan didn't know how to respond. His throat felt dry, as he tried to from words to say. His eyes burned slightly from lack of sleep. His beautiful blue circles washed over in glassiness and sadness. So he put on as strong of a face as he could and responded with,

"I don't know Lex. I really don't know.

* * *

Mark had literally been sitting doing nothing for almost three hours. After Lexie's second breakdown, he had taken her into the emergency room. The moment they had had entered the emergency room, Bailey and Jackson, who had both been on call, had taken her away and from there she had been committed to pysch. He'd been sitting here up in pysch, since Meredith had told him they had moved her to a room. He would've given anything not to have seen the look on Meredith's face when Bailey had explained what had happened. She looked like someone had slapped her. But Meredith being Meredith had immediately taken control and had gone with Lexie as far as she could, before the pysch doctors told her to leave for the evaluation. Meredith, after much convincing from Derek that she wouldn't do herself any good by sitting here, had finally gone home.

"Dr. Sloan?" called one of the nurses in the tan brown scrubs. He immediately stood up as the young woman walked over to him.

"How is she?" he immediately asked.

"The doctor just finished the evaluation a few minutes ago. They're going to sedate her so she can sleep. But she was asking for you, so the nurse will come in after you say goodnight." said the woman.

Mark felt his composure crumble slightly. Thoughts were racing through his head again. Sedation. She shouldn't have to deal wit this. This should be him. Why hadn't he been the one to get the blood? All of this could have been prevented if she had just stayed with Alex. Yes she would have been somewhat emotionally scarred, like they all were, but she wouldn't be like this.

"Thank you." said Mark as he turned to walk towards Lexie's room, right as the blonde grabbed his arm.

"I have to warn you though, she does have restraints on." said the nurse, as she watched Mark's face sink even farther. She smiled sadly and patted him on the back. "But it's only for precaution. They'll come off when she wakes up."

Mark quickly thanked the nurse again and headed to the room number Meredith had given him earlier. He softly knocked before opening the door. His heart completely sank, and his stomach churned at what he saw. His Lexie. His beautiful, perfect Lexie, sitting up in bed, eyes glassy, with physical restraints on her wrists and tied to the bed.

"Hey." said Mark as he walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Hi." said Lexie softly. She turned away as he continued to look at her, clearly going to upset herself further if she focused in on him. And she'd done enough crying for today. "I'm not crazy you know."

Mark sighed as he smiled softly at her. "I know you're not Lex. You just need…" said Mark searching for the right word.

"Help" Lexie bluntly said. "I need help and I'm willing to admit I need help. And I'll get it. And I'll get better. And when I am better and everything's okay again… we'll try to be us again… if you still want too of course." said Lexie.

"Of course I do." said Mark as he squeezed her hand gently. "I love you."

"I love you too." said Lexie softly as they both gave each other small smiles. She sighed as she looked at the white material tied to her arms. "I'm just not going to be able to sleep."

"Lexie they're going to give you something to sleep." reminded Mark gently.

Lexie rolled her eyes at him. "I know that. I may be slightly lost and confused right now, but I do have a good memory. I meant I won't be able to sleep without you holding me." said Lexie.

Mark nodded now understanding what she meant. He sat there for a moment before moving completely onto the bed. He carefully avoided the restraints as he somehow slipped around them and got behind them so Lexie would be lying somewhat on top of him. She smiled, now seeming content as she snuggled into him as best as she could. He nodded at the nurse who had just entered the room.

He watched the nurse injected the needle into her IV and watched Lexie's eyes slowly succumb to sleep. He pressed a kiss to her forehead as he watched her finally relax.

"Sleep Lex. I'm not going anywhere."

They had been through a lot in the last few months. Between moving in together, pregnant teenage daughters, breaking up, crazy shooters. Maybe this was some way of testing if they were supposed to be together.

But Mark knew they could prove it just about anyone that challenged them. They'd get through this together. They wouldn't have to make it without each other. They'd make it together.

_**And that's it folks! This concludes my little three shot just in time for the Season premiere! Happy Grey's day everyone!**_


End file.
